A number of years ago I picked up a CD that had lullaby versions of Ramones songs on it.
It wasn't because I was particularly interested in it, but I was in the grip of a completest fever and I felt that I must have it even if it was horrendously terrible.
For one reason or another, but probably because I had buried the memory, I had forgotten how much I had despised the bland representations of the songs, and now here I am with a Red Hot Chilli Peppers one in my possession.
I must have done something quite horrific in a past life.
Suffice to say the same feeling of horror has swept over me as Under the Bridge is picked out on what sounds like a random bunch of kiddie instruments that have been found at the foot of the cot.
A lullaby is supposed to lull a child over comfortably into the hands of the sandman, not bore the poor child into stupor.
Usually a child can safely wait until they are in their teens before hearing a parent shout at them to 'turn that horrible noise down......or off'.
It's a bit much to start with that sort of thing before they are even out of their huggies, but this CD has the ability to draw that comment like a protracted scream from the lips of a parent.
By the time Dani California came around I was still awake, but I felt quite ill.
The thought danced into my head on tippy toes that if I bought five of these CDs I could make a nice little mobile with them.
One that could be hung above a cot where it would silently catch the light and cast it in around the room like a cheap poundland disco ball would do.
Then I thought that a poundland disco ball would actually be more cost effective, and as a bonus I wouldn't have to have any Chilli Peppers lullabies at home that could mistakenly find themselves being played.
At the point that I was thinking that in all honesty there was no use to these CDS at all I realized that there was.
They are the ideal final CD to put on at a party if you want everyone to leave.