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Monday, 7 January 2013

Rock of Ages

How bad is Rock of Ages?
Well as it's really just the hair metal years revisited for the fans of Glee and High School Musical the answer is of course that it is very bad.
In fact it is so bad that it's good.
No honestly it is.
Well in my opinion it is.
It's fabulous with a capital F for fun.
In some way it perfectly lampoons a scene that was more tongue in cheek than it is often given credit for.
It's as big and daft as the hairstyles of the time and I love it for its unashamed gonzo attitude to the subject matter.
By the midway point of the film I was spluttering with laughter, while raising my fist in the air and firing off the devil horns.
Simultaneously I was also tightening some muscles so that I wouldn't pish myself.
I am well aware that most will look at the cast and question how Tom Cruise could pull off playing the wasted glam rock star, but he does.
He's a hilarious mix of Axl Rose, Paul Stanley and virtually every other front man who rode a chopped Harley down Sunset Strip.
This whole movie is a joke and he plays the part to the most extreme hilt.
The Gene Simmons/Satan cod piece that he wears is a piece of art in itself.
Russell Brand who I think is the king of shit when it comes to movies is also up for adding as much bacon to the ham on offer, and for once it works.
Even though his accent is all over the place and appears to be on a tour of much of England I can forgive him purely for the laugh out loud homo erotic moments between him and Alec Baldwin.
I know that virtually everyone in my circle of friends will give this film a bodyswerve, and that's entirely up to them.
I also know that most people reading it will consider my admittance of enjoying it as a genuine what the fuck moment, but tough.
I can't help but publicly state that I genuinely found this film to be hugely entertaining.
It's a nostalgic bit of whimsy with balls so big that that you can see the veins through the lycra.
I'm pretty sure that I'm going to watch it again.
Def Leppards call of Do you take sugar? One lump or two was never so perfectly framed.


  1. No anonymous posts getting past you now?
    Call me fuckyou then.
    Is this is the shark jumping joke?
    I expect it to be as entertaining as the local acts that you keep pushing down peoples throats.

  2. Dear fuckyou.
    Thank you for calling yourself fuck you as it will give me ample opportunity to respond with a degree of honesty.
    So fuck you.
    What is so wrong with my stepping out of line and admitting that I enjoyed a film that many would probably be too embarrassed to admit to having watched, never mind liking?
    With your claim of 'I expect' you clearly show that you haven't even seen it.
    So fuck you, why are you commenting?
    As you may have noticed I'm not that hardcore about the anonymous posts getting past as long as they entertain, deal in facts etc.
    So fuck you. I'm going to hazard a guess that yours were none of the above.
    Is that right?
    As for pushing local acts down peoples throats.
    Well fuck you I don't consider I do.
    Maybe you should draw up a fuck you spreadsheet and collate all the evidence and come back to me with the percentages of local acts mentioned in comparison to acts from elsewhere, movie reviews, books, plays, social commentary and the like.
    I'm sure your cock would love the break from being tugged on while you do that.
    Have a nice day fuck you.