I am anonymous.
I am not part of 'anonymous' who are the internet hackers with a political agenda that pushes for transparency.
I am just anonymous in the singular.
I am not legion.
I am not many.
I am a troll.
I visit Mainy's blog to post comments on his reviews of local artists.
I can't help myself.
When he responds I often wish I hadn't bothered as his answers often highlight that I'm the person who is often referred to as 'not the sharpest knife in the drawer'.
I then feel hurt and crawl back under the rock I had come from and swear that I will never comment again.
Then the urge comes to me and at night I can hear the whispers in my head urging me to make yet another nonsensical comment that will highlight my lack of social skills, my petty jealousies and my inability to express myself in a manner that others would understand.
The voices often drive me to distraction.
It may take days, weeks, or even a month, but no matter how much I fight to ignore the voices I know that I will succumb and find myself at the keyboard again.
It is then that the cycle begins anew.
I look for a recent review and then become fixated on one aspect of it.
I then magnify my imagined issue in my head until I am no longer able to consider what has been said in any sort of context other than the one I frame it in.
He's a megalomaniac.
A Machiavellian master of the dirty game.
The destroyer of young peoples dreams.
He has an ego the size of a small planet and I'm the Death Star that will blow it out of existence.
This is my reality.
The actual reality is that when I comment I come across as petty, snide and unhinged.
I'm not sure what is worse.
My realization of this, or the posts others make sneering at me and my very obvious stupidity.
I can't help it though.
I long for the day that someone says that I should be pitied more than loathed.
I aspire to being pitied.
No one knows who I am.
I an not legion.
I am not many.
I'm just a sad sack, and now I think I will go and do something a bit more fruitful with my time.
Like have a wank while watching my Justin Bieber DVD