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Monday, 30 April 2012

Once a Guttersnipe...always a Guttersnipe.

Random memories are still being dredged up by Shug for his memoir and here's yet another.
All of this is unedited so when the book is completed expect it to arrive in a different form, and some of what is printed here may, or may not, appear.

There seems to be a bit of a theme beginning to emerge.
Shug gets drunk, Shug has the chance of a sexual encounter. Shug misses out on sexual encounter. Ha

Here you go mate, another wee snippet for you !You know I promised you all that I would write a book & you may remember me saying that the 1990s (yes, the whole decade) is a bit of a blur?
Well I spoke to my old Guttersnipes bassist, Andy, last night to get him to jog my memory & it seems I got married to a German prostitute in 1998!
Now, wait a minute, before you all start jumping down my throat, and Carla, before you blow your top, I do actually recall that night.
We were touring Germany supported by Slovakian band, Zona A.
It happened that one of the dates was my Birthday, we were playing Cottbus that night, great gig, the place was jumping, people stage diving, great night.
After we'd played we hung around the bar talking to some German Skinheads, then a woman came up to me & started talking in German (she couldn't speak English) so one of the Skinheads was translating, she was enthusing about the band & telling me I was a great singer & she loved my voice.
I said thank you, glad you enjoyed the gig.
Then she took both my hands in hers, looked into my eyes & started making some kind of a speech, when she finished she looked at me for some kind of response, one of the Skins said "just say yes", so I smiled & nodded & said "Yes", she grabbed me & kissed me & the Skins all started laughing. I said "What ? What is it ? What did she say ?" and one of them said "You just got married !"
Anyway, we hung around drinking & chatting then the guy who ran the Club came running over & said "You have to leave !".
He'd just had a phone call tipping him off that a gang of Neo Nazis were heading to the club to get The Guttersnipes.
We had been, shall I say, uncomplimentary about Nazis in interviews we'd done & they were after our blood. Now we were supposed to be staying in rooms at the club but the guy said that was no longer possible so he phoned a hotel & booked rooms for us & phoned a taxi.
We were hurriedly exited out the back door & into a waiting taxi & I never saw my "wife" again!
Wonder how she is?
Hope she's alright !
What I didn't know until last night was that she was actually a prostitute hired by Zona A as a birthday present for me & the speech she made was actually an old German Folk Marriage Ceremony!
But you can relax Carla, I'm not a bigamist, the marriage wasn't legal, no registrar was present & nothing was signed, the marriage wasn't even consummated thanks to the bloody Nazis !!!
The things that happen to you eh?
I was just playing in a band!!!


  1. There seems to be a bit of a theme beginning to emerge.

    Shug gets drunk, Shug has the chance of a sexual encounter. Shug misses out on sexual encounter. Ha


    1. Hmmmm, yes I have to admit to that, story of my life really, had hundreds of women but probably only managed to shag three or four of them hahahahahaha !

  2. It's brilliant isn't it.
    I know a guy who has self released a few books and might be interested in putting out Shugs.