Over the years I've been accused of being virtually every single slang term for a penis and vagina that you could care to consider.
People don't just limit themselves to sexual organs though.
Any word that you could think of that would be considered offensive has been used as a descriptive term for me.
I'm fair game for it as it goes with the territory.
It's always open season on anyone who reviews music.
In fact it seems that it is always open season on anyone who dares express an opinion about virtually anything.
We seem to live in an era where it is acceptable to tell people to shut the fuck up simply because the opinion they hold doesn't mirror our own.
Personally I carry this sort of abuse on broad shoulders that are covered with a thick skin because if anyone wants to put themselves out there stating an opinion then they have to accept that they aren't going to please all of the people all of the time.
There is one problem with this though, and that is the disproportionate response that is often spewed forth.
I can say that a bands performance lacked passion and that equates to the allegation that I'm a cuntish failed musician with a chip on my shoulder.
Someone who would be worthy of listening to if I could only string a sentence or two together, but I can't.
Or if I dare say that 'in my opinion' an artist or band were shite, then more often than not the knee jerk reaction from the band, or their fan(s), is that I should have my pathetic life extinguished with extreme prejudice.
Unsurprisingly I never hear a complaint if I heap praise on a band.
It doesn't matter if I only heard one song or half a song if it is a positive comment made, it's only ever an issue if it's a negative one.
No matter how constructively I coach the negative view in it is always welcomed in a manner similar to that of being told that I've just slaughtered every single human being the person has held close to their heart, and then came back to butt fuck their pets.
I'm sure you can imagine the comments I get when I take the gloves off, cast diplomacy to the side, and say what I really think about a band
I wonder what all this actually says about the people who can't handle a less than positive comment about themselves, or the band they idolize.
(Usually a mates band who they would admit were not destined for stardom if there wasn't a personal connection)
Over the years it would seem that I have also been responsible for at least four bands splitting up due to writing a less than enthusiastic review of their performances.
In each case I'd maybe like to take a degree of responsibility and say that I've done everyone with ears a favour, but in all honesty if a band splits up because I've said that I don't think they are any good then I doubt they had a long and glittering career in entertainment ahead of them anyway.
In fact my comment on them will probably have been used as an excuse as no one ever issues a statement saying they have split up because they are unimaginative and talentless.
Far easier to claim that they are unappreciated and use my review as proof.
The thing is that I genuinely don't have an issue with anyone tearing to shreds how I write.
I also don't have a problem with anyone disagreeing with me either.
I've lost count of the times I've told people that they are entitled to their opinion while they casually ignore the blatant and continue to accuse me of saying things that are hidden between the lines that only they are aware of.
I'm not the font of all knowledge and no matter how many times anyone accuses me of saying that I am they will never find one utterance where I actually state that.
So I guess what I'm trying to say here is that some people need to reel their fuckin' heads in and get a grip.
If they don't like the comments I make then logically and passionately tear them to shreds.
Even have a laugh and inject some humour into slagging me off.
Feel free to wire in, but curb the internet warrior shite. It's getting old.