Perceptions are a strange thing.
Even our perceptions of ourselves.
A few months ago in a conversation I was asked my opinion from the point of view of being a music journalist.
I quickly jumped to state that I am not, never have been, and doubtfully every will be a music journalist.
It's doubtful as I never submit anything anywhere.
I just write.........well stuff, and because I genuinely love music that's what most of it is about.
A far cry from being a music journalist really.
That perception of what I do is the polar opposite of how I see myself.
I just spill stuff out onto the internet via my blog.
I make spelling mistakes, my grammar is questionable, and very often in hindsight I'm not that impressed with what I've written.
On the up side I do think that what I write has a degree of passion to it that is missing in the mainstream, and people do discover new bands and artists through reading my blog and that pleases me.
So I'm not pushing a glass half empty point here.
Just trying to state the case that what others, and quite probably myself, think isn't in all probability the reality.
How much really is in life?
It's also the same deal about promoting gigs.
Regardless of the perception, I'm not a promoter.
Or I should say that I don't see myself as one.
Instead I'm a music fan that has put on a few gigs.
I would argue strongly about that being the case.
I like dipping my toe in and sorting out a gig, and I would claim that the quality of the artists who have previously played on bills I've arranged have been of a very high standard.
Of course I accept that this is of course a subjective view.
It is a fact that I don't do it for money though, and everyone who knows me personally will laugh at that, and say that I'm the master of stating the obvious for uttering it.
The reason that I do it because I want to participate in the magic in some way, and for me the best thing about putting on a gig, apart from seeing a great performance, is when a stranger approaches me and excitedly says they have had a great time.
That makes it all worthwhile.
That's where the buzz is.
Yet the perception of some is that not only am I a promoter, but I am looking to lay the foundations and make a business of it.
That's simply not how I see it at all.
Even the perception of what this blog is all about, and its purpose, is varied.
Recently from some conversations I have had I get the impression that some consider that the blog is my attempt to create a springboard to jump from to something bigger and better.
I'm not sure what that is though.
I could start a website instead of a blog in the next ten minutes if I wanted to, but I'll not, or maybe I will.
Who knows? I certainly don't.
Similarly I could start accepting advertising, and maybe make a bit of money due to the amount of traffic I get, but that's not something that interests me, and there's also a part of me that loathes losing control over what gets promoted.
In all honesty I don't have a clue what the future holds for the blog, or anything I do related to it.
There's a part of me that is happy with it as it is and can't see the point in changing anything.
My reluctance to change it, or use it to open doors, could be highlighted in how crap I have been in promoting it.
I got five hundred business cards printed and I've given out about eight.
Probably five to friends.
What does that say about me.
A lack of confidence?
Am I a laissez faire slacker?
Could I be someone who is reluctant to be ousted from a comfort zone?
Whatever it is it does show that the perception that I'm using it as a conduit to this mythical bigger and better future isn't entirely accurate.
Lastly, and on a more personal level, the good guy/bad guy perceptions that people hold about me.
In all fairness I'm not as good, or as bad, as anyone thinks, and who is?
That's the bugger of perceptions isn't it.
Depending on who you speak to I'm a Devil or a Saint.
I'm neither obviously.
So what really is the purpose of rambling on about this?
Well it's probably that I just want to publicly put something down on record so that I can avoid explaining certain things in future.
Just to tidy some things up here's some more answers to oppose some of the more negative perceptions that have been expressed, and are maybe still held.
I don't now, ever had, or ever will want to corner the market in blogs that cover artists locally.
I never have, currently don't want to, and never will want to run a radio station.
I am not actually interested in putting myself forth as a representative for local artists, although I fully support them.
I also have no interest in controlling the local live music scene.
I sincerely hope that people can take this on board in the present, but I can assure everyone that the future will reveal it all to be true.
Vive le itsaXXXXthing. It is what it is and that's whatever you want it to be.