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Thursday, 8 December 2011

Hurricane Bawbag update

Bit windy today with gusts being measures at over 150mph.
So we in Scotland have decided to dub the extreme weather as Hurricane Bawbag rather than use the official name of Friedhelm that someone somewhere who probably has letters after his or her name called it.
Everyone is currently waiting with baited breath to see it described as bawbag on a televised news item, but no luck so far.
However the term bawbag is now trending on twitter so if anyone from further climes asks what a bawbag is then you can reliably inform them that it's the colloquial term for a gentleman's scrotum,
It's also the name we use to describe a bawbags bawbag and doesn't necessarily have to be attached to a gentleman.
Some people are claiming it isn't as bad as others are describing it, but I just seen Dorothy fly past my window hanging onto Toto's scrotum for dear life. Toto didn't look too bothered, but it's difficult to tell if a dog is smiling or grimacing.
It's like a scene for the Wizard of Bawz.
There's aerial photographs of the storm and if you squint at it then I'm sure you would agree that it looks a bit like David Cameron and that's uncanny as he's a bawbag to.
Latest news is that the River Clyde that runs through Glasgow could burst its banks.
If that happens the government have stated that they will instigate another bail out.
No one has had the heart to tell them it's a different sort of bank and the only bailing out that will be happening will be in the lounges of those who can afford riverside apartments.
The Met Office has now issued a red warning.
Celtic football club has called into question the warning and asked if they are fuckin' blind.
Meanwhile Rangers football club has now accused the Met office of eating all the pies.
Fans of both teams have backed their clubs and stated that they will now boycott any weather reports until an apology has been made.
In other news a political storm is brewing after Nicola Sturgeon was told by Alex Salmond that she should stay indoors as the weather had played havoc with her hair to which Nicola replied 'I've been inside all day ya cheeky bastard.'

1 comment:

  1. Love it Sir Mainy!!!! awoooooooooo!! what a mad fucking day it has been indeed. offices and schools closed, trees and cars blown over, gigs called off, nights out cancelled, plans interrupted, BUT it's brought us all together as a nation hasn't it and has really given us something to band together over as well as having provided a fantastic opportunity for some real Scots humor in dubbing the fierce winds to be named ' Hurricane Bawbag ' to the extent where people all over the UK and now across the world are pondering the meaning of this new world, what great humor we have as Scots, it's truly one of our most valuable assets, I truly believe that, and that's something that you might scoff about, perhaps that's because of you're great sense of humor, or perhaps I'm joking, we can all agree that Hurricane Bawbag has certainly given us something to scratch our heads ( and our sacks ) over.