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Wednesday, 1 January 2014

Sherlock S03E01 (Spoilers)

Pre credit intro.
Please no.
Really?
A bungee cord etc.
Most discounted that as over simplistic nonsense that wasn’t up to the quality of what had come before.
Ah, the smashed window and the kiss. Sherlock is now James Bond apparently.
Totally out of character, but who cares though.
It must be a dream sequence.
Damn. Here’s Gatiss doing his vanity piece and playing brother Mycroft again.
Just another sin added to the many that are rolling out with every second of screen time.
Some more James Bond stuff with the torture scene as Holmes plays the action hero.

Crap.

Oh my giddy aunt. The scene in the restaurant is so bad, so very very bad..
I’m getting the impression that in the time that elapsed from the closing of the second series everyone involved forgot where they left the threads, and instead of picking them up decided to start from scratch and make this in homage to Abbot and Costello.

Okay I had a quick google there to see if I had spelled Gatiss correctly and I see they wanted to make the new series funnier.
Right who thought up the empty hearse? Someone’s baws need booted.
Brilliant. Not.
Look quickly. There’s the lass from my mad fat diary in it.
If you could see me I have my non-smiley face on.

So someone enlighten me. What has this got to do with series one and two?

See all those people who couldn’t wrap their heads around ‘Elementary’, is that their noggins I hear exploding?

What a bunch of anticlimactic balderdash and we are already over half an hour into it.

I’ve got the weegie board out now. It’s similar to the sort that you contact spirits from the other side on, but it’s made in Glasgow and it’s a small novelty buckfast bottle that you push about instead of a glass.
I’m in touch with Sir AC Doyle on it and he’s spelling out L,O,A,D,O,F,A,R,S,E.

Ah, small mercies. With Watson being kidnapped we get a better late than never reminder of why we have tuned in.
Except the motorbike rescue is a bit Bourne isn’t it?

Moffat - Now I wonder what we can drag out from our bag of tricks.
Gatiss- Nope, fuck all in there so how about we rip off a bit of V for Vendetta? Do you think anyone will notice?
Moffat – Doubt it.  We have insulted the intelligence of the viewer so much so far that I doubt they will be pretty much brain dead by this point.
Gatiss – Excellent then.
And now the revelation and it’s pretty much what most people thought.
Or is it….yawn.
Moffat – Do you think we should throw in a twist though?
Gatiss – Yeah go for it. Whatever suits.
Will I watch it again?

Of course I bloody will, but I don’t have to like it.

1 comment:

  1. Aha! The curmudgeons strike back. We are Legion.
    All from the Guardian.

    10 minutes of story in a 90 minute episode :/

    I laughed for 5 minutes - but that was all.
    Poor episode. But now I feel a bit sorry for SH
    :(

    I thought the acting was brilliant, the characters are fantastic but it is a shame they're being wasted a bit.
    Three hours of telly pretty much solely to examine the relationship between Holmes and Watson is a bit much.

    Agreed (although I wondered off 40 minutes in so fear I missed the story bit) & I felt the same about last weeks episode, back to Basil Rathbone (or Columbo) for me I'm afraid!

    Well, Piss Poor and Self Indulgent Shite sums it up for me.
    What's gone wrong?

    My thoughts exactly.
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    Agree.
    Cast-iron dogshit, too self-indulgent, too few ideas being stretched out and ending up boring (the stag night was dire) and focused on the myth of Sherlock they've created rather than a plot. A bit like the recent Doctor Whos, in fact.
    For me, the first bad episode.

    unexceptional

    it reminded me of recent Doctor Who episodes where they faff around doing nothing for 30 minutes then have an exciting 15 minute climax.
    I guess the Moff feels as long as people finish on a high then they're willing to forgive the 90% of aimless tosh that preceded it.

    Yep - there are exciting whizz-bangery endings, but the preceding stuff seems really aimless. I was bored with quite a few scenes from that.
    It's a bit like being at an actual wedding, with peaks and troughs but, most importantly, really boing points throughout.

    speaking as someone recently moved back to UK from Europe these were the two episodes I have seen and I found both of them pretty hard going - aimless and, yes, self indulgent is a good word - I watch Sherlock Holmes expecting a plot - and that it is modernised is no excuse for not providing one. An hour and a half of the man the myth self congratulation isn't enough. I half expected him to take a selfie. Too knowing for its own good. Style without substance.

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