Dear everyone that put their name
to the lovebomb letter.
Yes, that’s you David Aaronovitch,
Jenny Agutter, Sir Ben Ainslie, Kriss Akabusi, Roger Allam, Kirstie Allsop, Alexander
Armstrong, Sir David Attenborough, Steve Backley, Baroness Joan Bakewell, Frances
Barber, Andy Barrow, John Barrowman, Mike Batt, Glen Baxter, Stanley Baxter, Martin
Bayfield, Mary Beard, Sarah Beeny, Antony Beevor, Angellica Bell, Dickie Bird, Cilla
Black, Graeme Black, Roger Black, Malorie Blackman, Ranjit Bolt, Helena Bonham
Carter, Alain de Botton, William Boyd, Tracy Brabin, Lord Melvyn Bragg, Jo
Brand, Gyles Brandreth, Rob Brydon, Louisa Buck, Simon Callow, Will Carling, Paul
Cartledge, Guy Chambers, Nick Cohen, Michelle Collins, Colonel Tim Collins, Olivia
Colman, Charlie Condou, Susannah Constantine, Steve Coogan, Dominic Cooper, Ronnie
Corbett, Simon Cowell, Jason Cowley, Sara Cox, Amanda Craig, Steve Cram, Richard
Curtis, Tom Daley, William Dalrymple, Richard Dawkins, Dame Judi Dench, Jeremy
Deller, Lord Michael Dobbs, Jimmy Doherty, Michael Douglas, Simon Easterby, Gareth
Edwards, Jonathan Edwards, Tracey Emin, Sebastian Faulks, Bryan Ferry, Ranulph
Fiennes, Ben Fogle, Amanda Foreman, Sir Bruce Forsyth, Neil Fox, Emma Freud, Bernard
Gallacher, Kirsty Gallacher, George Galloway, Sir John Eliot Gardiner, Bamber
Gascoigne, David Gilmour, Harvey Goldsmith, David Goodhart, Lachlan Goudie, David
Gower, AC Grayling, Will Greenwood, Tamsin Greig, Baroness Tanni Grey-Thompson,
Lord Charles Guthrie, Haydn Gwynne, Maggi Hambling, Mehdi Hasan, Sir Max
Hastings, Stephen Hawking, Peter Hennessy, James Holland, Tom Holland, Tom
Hollander, Gloria Hunniford, Conn Iggulden, John Illsley, Brendan Ingle, Eddie
Izzard, Betty Jackson, Sir Mike Jackson, Howard Jacobson, Sir Mick Jagger, Baroness
PD James, Griff Rhys Jones, Terry Jones, Christopher Kane, Sir Anish Kapoor, Ross
Kemp, Paul Kenny, Jemima Khan, India Knight, Martha Lane Fox, Baroness Doreen
Lawrence, Tory Lawrence, Kathy Lette, Rod Liddle, Louise Linton, John Lloyd
(journalist), John Lloyd (producer), Lord Andrew Lloyd Webber, Gabby Logan, Kenny
Logan, Sarah Lucas, Dame Vera Lynn, Margaret MacMillan, Stephen Mangan, James
May, Davina McCall, Sir Ian McGeechan, Heather McGregor, Andy McNab, John
Michie, David Mitchell, Lord John Monks, Lewis Moody, Michael Morpurgo, Bill
Morris, David Morrissey, Philip Mould, Al Murray, Sir Paul Nurse, Andy Nyman, Peter
Oborne, Sir Michael Parkinson, Fiona Phillips, Andy Puddicombe, Lord David
Puttnam, Anita Rani, Esther Rantzen, Sir Steve Redgrave, Derek Redmond, Pete
Reed, Lord Martin Rees, Peter Reid, Baroness Ruth Rendell, Sir Cliff Richard, Hugo
Rifkind, Sir Tony Robinson, David Rowntree, Ian Rush, Greg Rutherford, CJ
Sansom, June Sarpong, Simon Schama, John Sessions, Sandie Shaw, Helen Skelton, Sir
Tim Smit, Dan Snow, Peter Snow, Phil Spencer, David Starkey, Sir Patrick
Stewart, Sting, Lord Jock Stirrup, Tallia Storm, Neil Stuke, David Suchet, Alan
Sugar, Graeme Swann, Stella Tennant, Daley Thompson, James Timpson, Alan Titchmarsh,
Kevin Toolis, Lynne Truss, Gavin Turk, Roger Uttley, David Walliams, Zoë
Wanamaker, Robert Webb, Richard Wentworth, Sir Alan West, Dominic West, and Kevin Whately.
Especially you Kevin Whately, but maybe not you John Barrowman.
First let me apologise as I have no clue whatsoever who many
of you are, but that doesn't matter.
I thank you for your timely and compassionate intervention.
I am sure that you have all thought long and hard about the future
and each and every one of you have very clear reasons as to why you want us
Scots to remain as part of the union.
We feel the love, we really do.
Just ignore those people who are saying that you have no
right to an opinion because so many of you are rich, oh so very rich, and very
often don’t live in Scotland, or even the UK, or have much of a clue about what
it is like to be scrambling from one pay day loan or benefit cheque to the next.
These people are just tired, partially ground down and
lashing out.
You all have the right to an opinion regardless of whether
you hold it while lounging on a beach in Barbados or sharing it with a friend
over a meal in a VIP area in a five star restaurant.
So feel free to express them as you wish.
However, and this is just a small thing, a little favour
that you could maybe consider doing.
Could you maybe, just maybe, find some time in your busy
schedules to add your name to another letter?
This one could be addressed to David Cameron and you wouldn’t
even need a stamp to send it as some of you are close friends and I am sure
next time you see him you could just hand it over.
I mean there’s no rush anyway.
Here’s the deal though.
In this letter could you all collectively ask why there are
food banks in the UK, why the rich are getting richer off the backs of the poor
who are most certainly getting poorer, and maybe casually throw in a request
for him to sort out someone that the nation can get behind to investigate all
that disgusting child abuse stuff.
If you really want to you could even mention something about
the NHS dying from a death of a thousand cuts.
It’s just that I think that it is possible that you have put
the cart before the horse when you asked us to stay with you.
Although not literally because I am sure none of you want us
Scots turning up on your doorstep with our suitcases full of Irn Bru, haggis and
shortbread asking where your nearest deep fat fryer is.
What I mean is that if there were no food banks because no
one was going hungry, that the wealth of the nation was shared a bit more
fairly, and that we could see justice being done not just in the child abuse
cases, but in all the things that the politicians seem to get up to, then it is
possible that we would agree that we were better together and feel no need to
look to forge ahead with an independent Scotland.
It’s just a thought, and I am sure that given a moment you
will see the worth in it.
PS. Can you have a word with John Barrowman about his accent?
Life is hard enough.
PPS. Oh, and I didn't notice Rod Liddle in there. Rod Liddle who said "The only reason any people remain in Scotland is on account of the very cheap alcohol in supermarkets, plus a ready supply of heroin for when the alcohol runs out."
He is also the guy who offended so many with his cheap racist shots surrounding the Stephen Lawrence case.
So while we love the rest of you I think you can keep Rod.
The Scotland many of us want is a pretty inclusive one, but you have to draw the line somewhere.
Thanks.
More information about Rod Liddle in the comments section.