So the
European MTV awards is over for another year and they have announced
that in 2014 us Scots will host it in our brand spanking new
super-dome The Hydro - or as we call it the big fuckin' spaceship
from Close Encounters of the Turd Kind.
It's
sparked a fair amount of comment from music fans of a certain age.
The main
one being does the M in MTV still stand for music?
It's a
fair response as the awards ceremony that has just come and gone
appeared to reach for the dizzy heights of mediocrity, and then
failed miserably to even achieve that.
Of course
it would be easy to defend it by claiming it's aimed at a certain
demographic that us aged music fans are locked out of, but that
doesn't really answer the questions on the lips of many, with that
being “has the quality control went AWOL?”
The whole
event was more like an extended advert for ASDAs top ten rather than
a celebration of music.
Where was
the rock and roll?
Sitting
on the naughty step maybe.
Okay
ickle Miley smoked a joint and pre show posted a selfie from her
shower, but oh how tiresome all this neatly packaged rebellion is
becoming.
We get
it.
She's all
growed up now and wants to maintain a career so here's her tits, a
phallic hammer and a tongue.
No matter
how many flaming torches are lit by the media I doubt many villagers
are really going to storm the walls of RCA Records in horror at her
carefully choreographed trip from Disney to the Strip Club.
So okay
who else were the winners on it?
Katy
Perry, 30 Seconds to Mars, One Direction, Macklemore (Quite like him
actually), Bieber and Eminem got a a nod as the old guy in the
room,and...........okay, wake up at the back there.
I know.
It's
bleeding awful isn't it?
Then
there were the adverts between the awards being given out.
Or as
they want us to call them 'the performances'.
Robin
Thike played that song, King of Leon managed to jump the shark in
fine style, although the Killers gave them a solid run for the title
of 'band who were eaten by the machine', but seriously Snoop. I mean
really.
Were you
fuckin' high when you agreed to do this.
Ooops.
Sorry. Silly question eh?
So what
can we expect for next year?
Well with
the way popular music is being pushed in the mainstream it could be a
celebration of the top selling greatest hits albums of the year, or
maybe they could just call it Rhiannastock and have Chris Martin host
it.
There is
one guarantee though.
It's not
for the likes of you or me, and in a small quiet corner of my heart a
wee man is smiling about that.
PS. Here's a reminder of what is missing.
PS. Here's a reminder of what is missing.
right on the money man, MTV stopped being relevant a long time ago, it's no longer about the music, it's about the mass-marketed hype the music industry pushes out to the people on the couches, glued to the TV and whatever celebrity is flavour of the week, every single hour of the day.
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